ANIME REVIEW I WISH YOU WERE HERE
When an old parrot named Stanislavsky, dozing in the cage of my soul, suddenly wakes up to yell his signature “I don’t believe!” It’s not because he doesn’t want to be deceived. What are you, a burnt cynic for a long time no longer expects truth from art (and he is not at all interested in real life, like all other aesthetes). He is quite satisfied with the verisimilitude. He even, in essence, wants to be deceived, but only in such a way that it would be beautiful. Artfully. In general, his motives are clear to me, although they are not close, but the logic … sometimes just baffles.
“Well, tell me, for God’s sake,” I ask, “why were you silent when the Great Teacher Onizuka, throwing himself from the devil knows what floor to intercept his unlucky student on the fly, rose alive and unharmed, even if not from the asphalt but from a pile of cardboard boxes? Isn’t that a lie?!
It’s not crap, it’s a miracle!
“And what is the difference between a lie and a miracle?”
“What, should I recite Losev’s entire “Philosophy of Myth” by heart? Okay, okay … in general, remember yourself: how many times have you had to listen to “absolutely true” stories about compatriots who fell out of a balcony while drunk and did not break a single rib? Ten times, no less – and you nodded your head, not expressing the slightest desire to argue. And how many teachers do you know, like Onizuka – former motorcycle hooligans, capable of raising the most notorious members of society with the help of unique methods, as idiotic as they are the only correct ones?! That’s it! Onizuka is a miracle of nature in itself, even more amazing than a Russian alcoholic. And when amazing things happen to amazing people, it’s completely normal.
What about Urashima Keitaro from Love Hina?! Against him, you also seem to have nothing, but he’s a good guy, of course, but not outstanding at all – that’s his charm. And, nevertheless, managing not only to stay alive, but even to somehow return from near-Earth orbit, where the hot-tempered Naru seems to be sending him with his rocket super kicks…
– And this, my friend, is an artistic exaggeration. Hyperbola, not to be confused with parabola. By the way, you yourself are now talking with an imaginary parrot – but this is not a reason to take you to a psychiatric hospital, right? ..
– Yes, please … Well, well, then why were you squealing like a cut, all the time while we were watching I Wish You Were Here?
“Because that’s what bullshit is!” Not a miracle, not artistic liberty, and even, contrary to the annotation, not fantasy. Moreover, what is especially offensive, there were inclinations with rudiments, but every single one was ruined – some in the process, others right on the vine. Look: a virus unknown to science hits the Earth together with a crazy meteorite, turning infected people into bloodthirsty monsters. It is not entirely clear how the epidemic spreads, unless by the middle of the mini-series a new strain of the virus acquires the ability to be transmitted by airborne droplets …
– Lieutenant, be silent!
– No, maybe with tap water. Moreover, the disease takes on a clinical, so to speak, form in tens and hundreds of people at the same time – the authorities have to isolate and ruthlessly sanitize entire areas. And the virus monsters are so strong and tenacious that radio-controlled mini-tanks armed with bullets and flamethrowers are almost ineffective against them – so you have to call in special forces stuffed with nanomachines. These very nanomachines, in case of danger, come out of their bodies (right through the pores), forming a kind of exoskeleton, which makes the “soldiers of the future” incredibly powerful and almost invulnerable. All the same, however, they die periodically, but in general they somehow manage. Until the virus begins to mutate: first, the bodies of the infected merge into one giant supermonster, then it gets worse … Fortunately, military scientists have hidden a trump card up their sleeve: a girl named Ai (in our language, it means Lyuba), whose a mysterious power, enhanced by a colorful laser show, destroys the infection more effectively than any “Comet” …
– I understand! As long as her mysterious abilities remained mysterious, they were miraculous. But the one and only professor’s phrase “Aya’s energy is based on the projection of a hologram” immediately made them crap!
– Exactly. You and I, of course, know too little about holograms to really explain why they cannot be used to fight viruses, but more than enough to understand that they take us for idiots. I can’t stand being taken for an idiot! Or here’s the now fashionable nanomachine theme – it seems to be quite a fantasy, albeit not very scientific – but explain to me, for God’s sake, where clothes and hair cover almost instantly disappear from the fighters during the transformation into a “combat state”, and from where then appear again? What about the law of conservation?! Well, the mass of three hundred human bodies, even very swollen from an unknown disease, is not enough to form a monster the size of a five-story building